Are you Over Thinking?
Here’s the thing about whether you are an over thinker or not, it actually is not something you have to think about ….you know. Over thinkers know they over think things. Overthinking can mean a lot of things and over thinking can really cause fear, doubt, worry and even anxiety. I want to strip down over thinking to just the basics so that we have a place to start. Overthinking for me basically comes down to how you are at making a decision. There are 3 simple categories of decision making when it comes to overthinking, one you have a hard time making a decision, in your mind there are too many options and sometimes even too many good options and just can’t decide. Two, you actually make a decision but then you wonder if you made the right decision …should I have done that maybe I shouldn’t have . Either one is not really making a decision at all. The 3rd and most common form of overthinking around decision making is NOT realizing there is a decision to make, that the overthinking happens because there are no options, no opportunities to do something, nothing can help, when in fact, deciding to nothing is a decision but in this case its not helpful to the over thinker. This one is really tough because until you are aware of something to do, you do nothing, except think that if I worry about it long enough the answer will come.
There is always something “to do” in making a decision, so that you don’t end up overthinking.
The mind is a powerful thing. The mind waits for direction and if it doesn’t get it it does what it thinks you want it to do and that is what you have the habit of doing right before the over thinking starts. What you always do -and if you have had practice at overthinking- that means every time an opportunity to make a decision about anything comes up- your mind knows what you always do, and it knows that maybe you don’t like making decisions, or you don’t like uncertainty, or you don’t like confrontation, all the things that can be tied to the challenge you are facing,. In the past you just go around and around cause your mind thinks that this must be what you want because it is your go to …so it will keep doing it until you become aware that you can do something different.
Overthinking is nothing more than a habit. The habit that shows up when you think you don’t know what to do. So how do we stop overthinking. We do something, and if there really isn’t anything to do we must acknowledge “there is nothing we can do, I acknowledge that this is out of my control and overthinking is not the solution “. I know that all sounds so simple. But it really is. The tough part in this should be acknowledging we are overthinking….as most habits happen automatically without us even knowing …but remember the first few sentences in this message over thinkers know they are over thinkers, so that must mean we really do have a chance to turn this around.
The key to this – is understanding something that could change a lot of things in our life, not just if we are overthinking and here it is . You have a big choice, either you control your mind or your mind controls you. Every time a client of mine declares they are an over thinker, what I hear is this, my mind is running my life, not me.
This is our life, this is your life, I want to run my life, which really means I want to run my mind. Ponder that, for a moment, Do you overthink? that really means… do you let your mind run you? If you do overthink, let me tell you a secret. You do not have to, if you don’t want to. You do not have to let your mind run you, you can learn how to run your mind. You probably even know that already, you just aren’t practicing telling your mind the words it needs to stop over thinking any problem.
Pondering is a great word, one of my favorites actually, and when I have some serious ” thinking” to do I use the word ponder. My mind knows I don’t want to over think things …. I often say hmmmm I will have to ponder that …. it allows me space to make a decision.
Ponder what you have read here today, there always is a gem, that is just for you.
I am thinking about you …hope a wonderful weekend and that this message will carry you into next week xO love sue